Most of us have heard or said the phrase “I’m too in my head” but few understand the impact of this phenomenon on health and wellbeing. More and more, studies show that wellbeing is intrinsically linked to the brain and that human touch can help people move through anxiety, depression and even high blood pressure.
So maybe it’s no surprise that we live in a world where rates of anxiety and depression are through the roof and where, simultaneously, touch is taboo. Most of what we read about touch is that it is unwelcome and unwanted. Let’s face it: with our strict OH&S laws, hugs at work are frowned upon, and most team-building days don’t feature cuddle puddles. The most contact you might get from people in your everyday life is a high five, a handshake or, if you’re lucky, a pat on the back.
How consensual and therapeutic touch has transformed my life
So let me tell you how consensual and therapeutic touch has transformed my experience of life.
Once upon a time, not so long ago, I did not enjoy being touched at all. I never let my mother touch me growing up and when friends had sleepovers, I used to make sure there was a good pillow’s distance between us.
What I didn’t know at the time was that I was starving myself of the very thing that could help me down-regulate from acute anxiety, which has been an almost daily recurring phenomenon for me since childhood.
After my partner died, the anxiety, flashbacks and sleepless nights that followed were crippling. I tried every kind of therapy you can imagine. They were somewhat helpful, but what was most effective for me was somatic therapy.
What is somatic therapy?
Somatic therapy is literally therapy that is body-based. Somatic means “in the body.” Somatic therapy can include anything from eco-therapy, where you experience connecting with nature, to ecstatic dance, where you use movement to process your direct experience– thoughts, feelings, emotions, body sensations, everything. Somatic practice or somatic experiencing involves sight, touch, movement, taste, smell and sound.
What do somatic therapists do?
Somatic therapists support you to be with and move through difficult emotions, to bring yourself back to homeostasis without running away, avoiding or numbing. It is largely a phenomenological approach because it is concerned more about what is arising in the present moment rather than what has happened in the past.
Practicing somatic therapy
My introduction to somatic therapy was at a very PG-rated intimacy and attraction workshop. Even that I found confronting, but it unleashed something in me that I hadn’t experienced before, so I kept staying open to the possibility that this work was good for me. I then attended a somatic embodiment retreat and signed up for a year-long embodiment program. This past year I have experimented with a myriad of different approaches, some of them as tame as 5 Rhythms Dance and some as edgy as Tantra workshops and the Human Forest Project where people are either critters or trees.
What I’ve found fascinating and enlivening is how much growth I’ve experienced in terms of how I relate to and attune to other human beings…a work in progress for sure. As a woman with ADHD, this has been invaluable to me. Learning how to sense a person’s wants and needs or likes and dislikes without even speaking or learning how to read another’s energy and use your own energy like a magic wand is kinda mind-blowing. But also, learning how to be honest about the seemingly unspeakable truths that are present without fear of judgement or wrath is also a skill I’ve honed since doing this work.
How somatic practice helps
Somatic practice takes presence and connection to a whole new level, but what is most important is how I connect with myself. True connection with others germinates when we are connected to ourselves and when we can slow down and truly experience whatever is alive – pleasure, pain, sorrow, regret, jealousy, anger, love… anything and everything.
What might come up in somatic workshops
Of course, when people engage in this work, wounds can rise to the surface. Participants can be sobbing one minute and laughing and being playful another. I went to an event recently where a spontaneous pillow fight broke out, and it was fucking funny. Here we were, grown adults, acting like we were five-year-olds at a sleepover.
I’ve noticed that when I consistently practise through dance, other forms of movement, touch, and play, the anxiety disappears. And when it comes back, which it does, I don’t try to run away from it and hide from it. I welcome it in and do my best to be with it.
Somatic practice has helped me really tune into my body. When I’m sleepy, I sleep. When I’m energetic, I move, and sometimes I do the opposite. At a workshop the other day, I just wanted to curl up in a ball and sleep, but the invitation was to play, so I took that on and somehow, I wasn’t sleepy anymore.
Somatic therapy opens your world to aliveness, presence, joy, fully feeling and tuning into what your body is telling you. It becomes a guide in the storm of life. For example, earlier this year, I had starting seeing someone and after our fourth (and last) date, I could feel my body shutting down. The next day, I could barely move or speak to anyone. Tuning in, I realised that the dynamic was unhealthy and that I needed to end it, which I did.
I now can’t go for more than a few weeks without doing a workshop, and I integrate somatic practice into daily life. And now it’s time for me to share this magic with others.
Discover somatic practice for yourself
On 23 November, my beautiful friend Arika Yaeli and I are hosting our first beginner somatic workshop. This exquisite day will be an opportunity to dip your toe into the world of somatic practice through gentle movement, touch and tactile activities. We are super excited to bring this to the Sunshine Coast and look forward to introducing many other practices.
If you are wondering “will this be too much for me?” please be reassured that we get where you are at and the activities on the day are all designed for beginners, optional and gentle. You can do the entire workshop without touching another human being if you so wish. Touch is not just about human to human connection (as lovely as that can be). It is also about feeling the earth beneath your feet, savouring food, and moving your body in what ever way you want with no judgement and absolute freedom…or just staying still if that’s what you feel to do. How good would that be?
To join us for our first in-person day retreat, check out the event here.
